Back To June
by Region and District
Summary: Snape spent a whole summer without Lily, and at a party he tells her how he feels. He sings the Taylor Swift song Back To December, only its his own version.


BACK TO JUNE

The lights and the loud music start to make me feel sick, as I desperately search for one face in a sea of faces, the one face that ever had the ability to put a smile on my face. I search for long fire-red hair, I search for emerald green eyes, and the light freckles dabbled across her face. I look for the wide grin that sent butterflies to my stomach every time.

Finally, I find her. She catches my eye, and almost immediately looks away, scowling. I curse under my breath. I won't let her scowl drive me away. This is the first day of 6th Year party…and I decided this was the best scene to apologize to Lily. I had been practicing this all summer, not that I had anything else to do, without Lily by my side.

"What do you want, Snape?" Her words are like ice, cold, solid, unfeeling. Her guard is up, I can tell. She won't give me the privilege of seeing how she feels. I know why. She's always been stubborn, and she won't let herself forgive me. The last time she saw me, she burns in the back of her mind, with that fire-hair.

"I just wanted to make time to see how you are." I say, trying to hide my desperation.

"I'm….fine." Lily says slowly, those brilliant green eyes glaring at me.

"How's life?" I ask, making small conversation.

"Same. Though, I'm busier than ever, with all the classes I'm taking this term." Spats Lily. I know she's lying, though. It's impossible that her life is the same, without me, her best friend.

"How's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. "

"Tuney's as annoying as ever. Mums fine. Dads okay." She says, her walls still built too high to let me in.

A song comes on, and couples group together. I recognize it instantly. It's the new Taylor Swift single, "Back to December" I lean towards Lily, and whisper my own version of the song in her precious ear.

"_I'm so glad, you made time to talk to me_

_How life? Tell me how's your family? _

_I haven't seen them in a while…._

_You've been good, busier than ever…_

_We small talk, school and the weather_

_You're guard is up, and I know why…._

_Because the last time, you saw me you still burn in the back of your mind_

_You gave me friendship, and I left it there to die…."_

Lily looks at me uncertainly. She doesn't push me away, she doesn't say a word. She just listens. It's not the ideal response, but it is enough. I continue, my voice raspy and out of pitch, but I don't care.

"_so this is me swallowing my pride_

_Standing there in front of you singing I'm sorry for that time.._

_And I go back to JUNE, all the time_

_It turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you_

_Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.._

_I go back to JUNE, turn around make it all right_

_I go back to June all the time._

Lily looks at me intently, and I detect surprise in her green eyes. She tries to hide it, but she's trying to hide it. Silly Lily. By now she should know how well I know her. The music pauses for a guitar solo, and I let her leave, but she doesn't. I smile, and as the next verse of the song begins, I begin to really show her how I feel, something I've been to cowardly to do before now.

_These days, I haven't been sleeping _

_Staying up playing back me watching you leaving_

_As the whole summer passed_

_And you never called….._

_As I think about 4__th__ year all the beautiful times_

_I watched you laughing right by my side, and_

_I realized I loved you, in the Fall_

_Then the cold came,_

_The dark days_

_When fear crept into my mind_

_I gave you all my love and all you gave me was…..goodbye_

I repeat the chorus, looking deep into Lily's eyes. This is the longest she ever looked at me since the day in June, when we took our O.W.L.S, and I made The Mistake, and we broke apart. Lily's eyes showed no sign of forgiveness, as I sing

_I miss your fair skin,_

_Your sweet smile,_

_So good to me_

_And those green eyes_

_And Ill hold you in my arms this September night_

_And you might see me cry_

_Maybe this is wishful thinking_

_Probably mindless dreaming_

_But if we were friends again_

_I swear Ill treat you right.._

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't_

_So if the chain is on your door I understand_

I finished the chorus one last time, letting my black eyes show no fear, and trying not to hide a single feeling. For a moment, tears gleam in Lily's eyes and friendly love flash in them. Then, the coldness returns, and the walls stack up again. Lily turns on her heels and stomped off.

"I LOVE YOU!" I call after her. I don't know if she hears. I feel like I should cry, but I don't. I watch Lily dance with James Potter and Sirius Black, not giving me another thought. I sigh. At least now she knows.


End file.
